woke up at 2:30 this morning...

woke up at 2:30 this morning...
Originally uploaded by hedgenettle

the dog was scratching at my door and i was still half dressed, having dozed off putting jubal to sleep. i feel like i can get back to sleep soon for a few more hours, though.

tomorrow i have my placement tests at LCC, which should go fine...other than my math, which is totally rusty, and i expect to place low...which is still fine, frankly i don't want to take a challenging math class right now. the reading and writing i expect to pass with flying colors. and then some. my placement test are called "ability to benefit" tests--which i have to take because i never graduated high school. i'm feeling pretty able to benefit right now.

speaking of which...loki is planning a mortgage relief party for us on june 20th, more details to come. i spent some time thinking about that this evening, because i'm designing the invitations...thinking about fun things like: what size, what format, do i put a picture of me and the kids on it?...and less fun things like: should i ask the printshop for a my-husband-just-ditched-us-single-mom-of-three discount to print them? it seems like a reasonable discount to request, and i'm a regular customer. it's strange how i feel no shame or nervousness at the thought of asking for it, either. i mean, my husband just totally LEFT us and i'm so broke my friend has to throw me a party to raise money. i need a freaking discount!

i had a horrible moment last night where i felt so completely exhausted, i just wanted to call rodney and see if he was completely exhausted yet, too. i didn't do it, of course, because i know he isn't yet...he's not taking care of three kids, a house, a dog, scrambling to make money, and depressed because his best friend and life partner just freaking ditched them all suddenly and randomly. he was probably at his new idiotic girlfriend's house playing video games. it sucks for him that by the time he does get exhausted, and his dumb girlfriend dumps him for being an angry jerk, i will have spent my normal amount of time feeling this way and coping and will be fully recovered...probably with a boyfriend of my own. god i hope that happens.