a loooooooooooong post

it's drizzly today, and i'm glad for it. yesterday was gorgeous and warm. i thoroughly enjoyed it, but it lured me into outside projects all day and i have a pile of laundry the size of a vw bug in my hallway. it's housekeeping day. the outside stuff was wonderful, though! i installed this old bed frame around to the north garden to act as a physical barrier between the blackberries and the mints and other herbs. dad bought me the bed when i was 15 or 16 and i loved it and have hauled it around with me on every move for the last ten years...but a pack rat stole all the nuts and bolts from the barn in yoncalla and i have no idea how to even begin to replace them. i've contemplated using the frame in the garden for a long time, but resisted because of feeling guilty about the money dad spent on it. finally i let go of that. the money is spent! i can't get it back or change that he bought it. now it actually gets used, i can enjoy looking at it, and it will help me in my cause of respecting the blackberries and getting them to respect my boundaries. it felt great to dig the holes to set the posts in and lug big pieces of broken concrete from the back yard to set against the legs for extra reinforcement. grampa's shovel again. i also dug a small trench from the hose spigot to the main path of the herb garden, leveled it, lined it with river sand, and installed a brick path from the pile of random bricky rubble out back (i have no idea what was made of bricks before we lived here, but we have a huge supply of them and i love using them around the place). i mixed the "lock-in" sand (the stuff you sweep over the top of the bricks to hold them in place) with compost and groundcover seeds--creeping thyme and violas--in hopes that they will grow up around and between the bricks...that will be so pretty and add stability, if they do.
the whole time i was working outside the dang neighbors were an irritant--nick, the guy from down the street, who counts in my mind as one of the neighbors because he is friends with them and his dad owns the lots behind and next to our place, so he's always over there...nick was burning a pile of debris like FIVE FEET!!! from our back fence. are you kidding me?! the flames licked up into the ceder branches and it looked so dangerous from where i was. i spoke to him over the fence and he assured me he had everything under control, but dang--there's a whole lot back there, why not burn a few YARDS from my fence and cedar tree instead? so the air was full of ashes and smoke all day, which didn't help my cough any. and then the neighbors, of course, had to bust out the ATVs. they ride them in the aforementioned lot. all day. several days a week. even their little kids have kid-sized ones. it drives me nuts for every reason a sane person can imagine. waste of resources. noise and air and ground pollution. dangerous. teaching the future generation to be materialistic and concerned only for your own pleasures. no respect for land or neighbors. etc. over the weekend they blocked our driveway while they loaded up a whole trailer bed of ATVs to drive somewhere and disturb that land, too. god, they drive me nuts...exhale.
and a blue mountain update...we should have an answer from the state soon. in the meantime we have formed a couple of committees. one for long term funding solutions and one for planning the "homeschool group" which will just be blue mountain, at blue mountain, but volunteer staffed by parents. we set the likely tuition rates at the meeting last night. two kids has to be $120 a month. we have to pay the bills, even though we think the foundation will let us use the space and still cover the mortgage. i'm starting to feel like a bloodless turnip. $120 a month, plus tons of time and energy volunteering. i'll get the energy from somewhere and rodney says he'll get the money somewhere, but i feel tired! plus extra gas and lunch money. god, i am hating the meanie district people so much right now. why the hell couldn't they just leave us alone?! why do people feel the need to push their ideology onto other people?! they don't have to do it. they don't have to like it. they don't have to send their kids there. i pray--and ask everyone out there to pray, too--that the state finds in our favor. please, state! it just makes me sick. the dickson's moved here for bms and now they are moving away because it's not going to be here anymore (most likely)...the dad got a job offer and with the school being so very uncertain, there was no good reason to refuse it. my kids play with their kids every day at school and several times a week outside of school. they have sleepovers and playdates and start little businesses together. those friendships teach them so much about social dynamics, forgiveness, understanding, everything! i'm so sad and disappointed at the thought of the girls suffering such a horrible loss.
grateful for:
1) inventors
2) folk arts (i'm re-learning to knit in preparation for my upcoming sock knitting class)
3) friends
4) community
5) friendliness

spring returns

yesterday i tilled up a good portion of the back garden and direct-seeded some more mini-crops--collards, chard, and beets. rodney is getting some silt-fence material to put up as a temporary barrier against wyatt-wayne. why did i want a puppy again?! it'll be ugly, but hopefully it'll keep the dang dog out and we know where a portion of next year's tax return will go! pretty barriers. i planted out a lot of my hardened-off brassicas in the front beds, but am leaving the rest to plant out til the fencing is up.
my body's gone from being sore from the mastitis, to sore from the cold, to sore from digging--the best kind of sore! and i used grampa phil's square-nosed shovel to till it and thought of him as i worked. the cold still lingers, but it's definitely improved and i'm soooo grateful for that. sick sucks.
i've had more chances than ever to sew lately. i made jubal some pants from old work shirts and scrap material gramma judy gave us, more bags, and other random fun stuff. my next project is going to be these little art caddy book things (thanks martha stewart!) with oilcloth covers and little pockets inside to hold paints, brushes, pads, etc. i found some cool oilcloth at the feed store that is orange with a black grid and black flowers and skeletons riding bikes in full regalia (crazy day of the dead headwear or something). i've been trying to think of a good way to package the notecards...i like card sets that come in mini-cigar boxes, but i'd have to have funds to get those made and printed to match the cards...so i was thinking i might sew some of these little pocket book things to hold the cards and envelopes, with a slot for a pen and a pocket for your book of stamps. could be neat. i can blockprint material to match the cards for the outside cover.
oh yes! i was at wal mart yesterday--of course i don't normally shop there, but i needed felt and when it comes to walking to wal mart for a small purchase that can't wait or making a trip to town guzzling up time and gas, wal mart wins...so, there i was and rodney says to me, hey they have some of those plastic or paper? neither! bags up front... i was confused and asked a few questions...he showed them to me. yes. wal mart had the same idea as me. you know how all the stores are coming out with their own cheap black fabric bags that they sell at the cash register for a buck? wal mart's has my phrase on it. i was absolutely sick from it! "paper or plastic? neither! WAL MART" are you kidding me?! damnit, i'm a maven without the proper outlets!!!! so will wal mart sue me if i keep using my own phrase that i sadly thought was clever and original? i dunno.
i'm skipping the gratitudes today cuz rodney took the baby out for a quick walk and i want to hurry and get outside to water my seeds all alone! but i'm grateful for everything, you know that. love and kisses!

sickworld

well...everyone is sick (except hazel who almost never gets it when the rest of us do). little jubal woke up this morning with a blob of crust all over his upper lip and a sad and mellow demeanor. though he's cheered up a bit now and is playing at my feet. vesta and rodney are still in bed. i feel a little resentment at being the one who always has to get up and take care of everything when we're ALL sick. even when i had mastitis i still had to do everything. women get a bad rap for "not taking care of themselves" or not "putting themselves first"...maybe those around them deserve some of that credit for not stepping up and taking over some of the duties. i want a neon sign tee shirt that says "I'M SICK, TOO!!!". today i'll be loading up on the vitamin C and making another batch of chicken soup--the last one wasn't big enough!
i've had more opportunities to sew lately. i set up one of the desks in the office as a sewing table--that was one of the barriers before--i had to clean off the kitchen table and set up the machine every time i wanted to sew, now it's just there, so i can easily get ten or fifteen minutes in a few times a day. i googled "how to make baby pants" and got a handy tutorial on making them from old tee shirts and jubal is sporting my favorite pair (made from an old work shirt from zarzycki general contracting)...they take ten or fifteen minutes to make and are totally cute and comfortable. i made myself a pair of loungy/pajama type pants yesterday, as well--they don't have the elastic in the waist yet, but are otherwise done. plus bags from the goodwill pile tee shirts. pretty soon i'll have an actual inventory to move! amazing. also little satchel type bags--just trying to work out the quickest way to make those--i haven't found it yet, but given a few days to practice i'm sure i will. they would make good gift bags for bars of soap--hehe.
well, vesta just woke up and complained that rodney didn't wake her up for school! i guess she's feeling better. i said i'd drive her--i have to go buy a chicken anyways.
i'm tempted to say "i'm too tired" when it comes to list my gratitudes, but that just isn't right, so here goes:
1) the dicksons...a bms family with two daughters in similar age and disposition to ours. hazel spent the night over there last night.
2) the interest and energy for the "homeschool group" we are looking to form while we figure out how to get the school open again.
3) clean sheets. top five best things ever.
4) vesta.
5) big, cozy socks (i steal them from rodney's drawer).

the horse

yesterday started out a bit intense. vesta is sick with a cold/sore throat thing, rodney is still injured and in pain (and out of pain pills, so grumpier than usual), and i still had (and have) mastitis. hazel is healthy as a horse and whenever the rest of us are sick she frolics around exuberantly and has no concept of quietness and mellowness for the sake of sickies. but yesterday she began the day with a meltdown. she had been working on this craft project that involves these tiny little "bead tubes" of colored plastic that fit over hard plastic prongs that are like stencils of things...in this case a horse. these things are hard to work with. the tube things are small, the prongs are not tall enough and are spaced super close to each other so that when you try to fit a bead over a prong, you are a miracle worker if you do not knock off like three other beads in the process. bad design. she kept messing it up (like any person trying to do this craft would!) and knocking off beads and not being able to get them where they go...then there weren't enough of the color she needed. on and on until tears and the horrid whiny voice appeared. so after the end of whiny voice, which garners nothing from me beyond, "please do not use that voice", i attempted to help her problem solve. but! my fingers are bigger and clumsier than hers! i couldn't do it, either. so i advised her to take a break and come back to it fresh later. which she did on and off throughout the day. she went off to a play date, vesta and i lumped around as lazy as we could be (not very lazy for me, as jubal is not sick and needed constant interaction and care!), rodney slept all day...then she returned from her play date and i made her supper, which she didn't want right away, as she was going to work some more on her horse, which she'd decided to make a paint, as the "right" colored beads were scarce. well, she filled it all in and it was just gorgeous, so she ate her supper and i heated up the iron--which is another delicate process of this craft. you have to heat it up so the little beads melt together and hold each other in place...you have to do this without knocking any beads off the too small prongs and without over or under melting any part of the damn thing. i managed to do it! thank the gods of horribly designed children's crafts. after her initial meltdown, she went back to it and just worked with patience and diligence. no more tears. no more whining. no more " I CAN'T DOOOOOOO IIIIIIITTTT!!!!". i was so completely proud of her, i could barely breathe for a minute. of course i told her so, and that it was beautiful--much better than the design the stencil recommended. a beautiful paint horse.
sometimes hazel doesn't stand out, people are so overwhelmed with babybabybaby or amazingartistamazingartistamazingartist....they don't always notice hazel's astonishingly beautiful eye for design and her hugely open, kind heart. she is a jewel.
before bed she was hunched over the table working on something with a pen and paper. i was trying to rush everyone to bed because i was exhausted and ready for as much aloneness as i could get with jubal still up...she went and brushed her teeth when asked, but she quietly came back to the table, asking me once how to spell "journey". i let her finish, and she presented me with this story:
I WISH I KAUD HAV A JOURNEY FOR FOR UWAY IN A WRLD AV FAUN IT WIL HAV FAN AND GAMS THEAT IS WUT!
(translation: i wish i could have a journey far far away in a world of fun. it will have fun and games, that is what!)
followed by a little smiley face and with every individual word circled. that sucker went RIGHT on the wall.
i love hazel and today i am purely and simply grateful for her, to the power of 5. at least.

normal life

we had a great visit with kimmy and gregg and i got my house somewhat cleaned up for spring...which lasted about a day! yesterday while i was making soaps for my secondary orders i managed to slice the palm of my left hand in three different places. and i already had a minor--but somewhat infected--wound under my middle right fingernail from scraping out the whiskey barrels and getting a big dirty splinter up under there. between rodney's bum shoulder and my hands, dishes are an extra chore! so they stacked up sunday and monday, but today we are tag-teaming them for a few minutes each. hopefully we can preserve the integrity of our bodies and manage to restore order to the kitchen.
vesta's tenth (!!!!!!!) birthday is on thursday. i cannot believe that my child is ten years old! how exciting and crazy. they are having an indoor sleepover at school that night, so she has been plotting birthday party activities for that--it's great for me, i don't have to host a kid party--something i generally avoid--but she still gets to have one. yay!
the sewing machines at school aren't working, so the girls will have to work on their parade costumes here, i'm hoping this happens easily and with a large helping of fun, rather than being some kind of horrid rush that is stress-filled and ruins the point. and speaking of sewing, i've nearly finished creating the appliques for my first embellished grocery tote. big carrot, tomato, lettuce (all ruffly and multi-layered) and a mushroom. i'm looking forward to putting that together over the next couple of days.
the big hail yesterday battered some of my seedlings that were hardening off before rodney could get them all out of the pelting, but mostly they endured well, a good sign. i'm putting them in the ground tomorrow or thursday. the back garden will finally get some company for the thistles.
i feel good about my cluttered life and hopeful for the future. everything will be wonderful, and, in fact, is wonderful now.
gratitudes:
1) cameras! regular and digital. what an awesome, awesome tool.
2) films. i love them so. and as i said in the movie night mission statement, filmmakers are the modern day story tellers--what a cool medium for an ancient tradition.
3) chamomilla 6x-es...homeopathic teething tablets that REALLY WORK! they help baby and adults alike cope with the seemingly endless task of growing teeth.
4) greens. they taste so good and feel so good in my body.
5) CDs--music to the masses, woohoo! another ancient tradition in a modern format. eat my sony, Luddites--heh.

busy as a bee

so busy today. i've been up since 6:21 taking care of jubal and baking a devil's food cake as well as some yellow cupcakes for hazel and vesta to decorate for the meeting today--brilliant to have a meeting with potluck, everyone is always so starving at those things. it's a baked potato potluck so we are supposed to bring a side dish or dessert as well as a topping--i'm thinking of an herbed butter with rosemary and wondering if the food processor will crush the rosemary sufficiently...we'll see.
also cleaning house in tiny spurts, which is actually the most effective way for me (aside from rodney taking jubal for a solid block of time while i just rush all projects). i finally washed the froggy shower curtain (the kids always wipe shampoo faces on it) and have been doing tiny quantities of dishes and table clearing, etc. all morning. whatever gets done it'll feel good. there is no escaping the fact that my house is veeeery lived in and very full and active and also very, very tiny. haha.
the last couple of days i've been hardening off my first batch of seedlings--herbs and brassicas, mostly. they seem to be taking it well and i'll probably plant them next week. that will feel very good. the back garden has nothing in it yet, it's lonesome for some plant action. well, it has those darn thistles, but no food crops yet.
i woke up deliciously sore this morning (well, it was delicious after the first five minutes when i was wondering if someone snuck a pint of whiskey into me last night, i was so sore)...i love spring, summer, and fall for all the yard work and gardening chores. i just realized i lied--the back garden does have potatoes planted in it, but they aren't up yet. i planted them in the spot that had the oat ground cover and guess what? no thistles there! so, next year, all cover crop for the winter, it seems to really help. i have to find some time this weekend to plant the dahlias grampa brought me. and speaking of being busy as a bee, i saw some honeybees yesterday working the dandelions in the north garden (if they're real dandelions i always leave them, they're one of my favorite plants). it was a refreshing sight.
i hope everyone is having a marvelous time, as i am.
gratitudes:
1) wyatt wayne's slow progression into sane doghood
2) that i have so many south-facing windows
3) libraries
4) reduce-reuse-recycle
5) the creative energy of all-that-is

sunshine!

today was glorious! i hope it was perfectly gorgeous for all of you, as well. i was "supposed" to clean house all nice and deep today because kim and gregg (happy birthday, gregg!) are coming on sunday...but it was so sunny and beautiful out that i spent the day buying herbs and flowers and planting seeds in the herb and flower beds. my muscles feel nicely worked from hand-turning the plots and my face feels tight from sun kisses. it was so beautiful! i planted skullcap, yarrow, fennel, creeping thyme, flat leaf parsley, and lemon balm seeds in the herb garden on the north side of the house. i also planted sweet woodruff and a beautiful variegated lemon balm transplants in the herb garden. out front rodney planted some flowers he picked out--some orange daisy things, candy tufts, shasta daisy, and some other things i don't know what they are. i planted a couple of fuchsia starts in my hanging baskets with alysum seeds, and alysum seeds in the front bed, with these beautifully delicate coral flowers i can't remember the name of, but which i looooove. so dainty and pretty. they're annuals, but i got one last year and put it in a terra cotta pot and it over-wintered. i got a red geranium, as well, in honor of babe (the elderly woman i cared for a few years ago, who kept slips from her geraniums all year in a back room).
AND! in honor of my horrible neighbors, who seem to move from one annoying thing to another...the new thing is that instead of parking across the mouth of my driveway (a past problem) he parks across the mouth of his own driveway, blocking in his wife...then instead of him moving his truck, she uses my driveway to get in and out of her driveway--last night they did that and when they returned the SPED into their driveway via my driveway...i mean SPED!!! and that was all i could take of it, what if hazel had been out there, as she often is?!...(last summer the girls were practicing skating in the driveway that runs next to their house, but isn't theirs, and the she-neighbor was so horrible and nasty to vesta about it that she came home and wept for 15 minutes! when i tried to speak to her about it, she got nasty and insulting and it wasn't pretty. since then i do not deal with them at all. anyways...) so i lugged the whiskey barrels over there and spaced them across the unfenced portion of our property line in an attempt to deter future "driveway trespasses" and loaded them up with soil and planted perennial herbs in them--rosemary (they can reach 3-4 feet tall!), lavenders, wormwood, gorgeous purple sage, and another of those precious variegated lemon balms (so pretty!), and sprinkled them with viola/johnny jump up and alyssum seeds for good measure. oh yes, and nasturtiums (some of which i also planted in front). drive over that, weirdos!
i know i should let the neighbor thing go, but i cannot stand injustice or stupidity and those two are frankly overflowing with both and they just irk! me--i'm human, after all. anyways, it seems a delicious solution because of all those yummy herbs. pretty and good smelling--sort of a magical barrier. and, i admit, a wee bit of satisfaction at the way it will annoy her. like i said, i'm human!
so i feel great. a worked body, a relaxed mind, a satisfied spirit...and a non-violent solution to the latest neighbor irritant.
i'm grateful for !) sunshine! 2) herbs! 3) dirt! 4) seeds! 5) having grampa phil's shovel!
ps. tomorrow is a "future of blue mountain school" meeting...think good thoughts.

life

the girls went to a costume making workshop last night, they came home with wings they'd made, and for hazel a bee antennae headpiece, for vesta some kind of tunic-toga thing that goes with her wings--which are fairy wings. they will be in the all species parade on the 19th. the little antennae are so cute and vesta's wings are quite amazing. loki took them with her and ronan, bless her soul.
dad took care of jubal at the same time, while rodney and i went to an appointment. dad said he spent almost the entire time standing on a little chair by the front window watching for us to come back! not in a sad way, but just watching. poor dad, the puppy threw up twice and peed once--more trouble than the baby, as usual!
rodney starts physical therapy for his messed up rotator cuff today and has another seemingly pointless AND useless doctor's appointment. but hopefully the PT will help, he's feeling rather in pain and a bit useless himself.
and i'll be cleaning house, as usual, but this time in preparation for a visit from kim and gregg this weekend. the cycle never ends! dishes and stuff to sweep and more mopping than i've ever done in my life--punctuated by the various aspects of laundry.
life in our little house on our little rock that just keeps spinning.
gratitudes:
1) scissors--is that a handy and often overlooked tool, or what?!
2) eyelet setters--more cool tools that are often ignored. oh how i love them.
3) my feet--strong and wide and holding me up so beautifully.
4) the foot rubs rodney often gives me in the evenings. get someone to rub your feet--it's like a quick all-over massage.
5) hot cereal--fast, easy and hazel loves it.

a blah day, but still...

today i feel anxious for unexplained reasons...like something is coming, but i don't know what it is. some days are like that. it's grey and white and wet outside and doesn't feel springy at all. i'm ready to be done with un-spring! i'm ready for warmth and plants growing in golden sunshine. speaking of which, it's time to harden off the brassicas and plant them. time to start another batch of seeds--i got some flower and veggie seeds the other day, one of which is chinese lantern seeds--i'm so hoping they sprout well and make good plants, i love them so, with their red papery packets. i'll be making more soap today, as well: lemongrass and lavender. they smell so good! yesterday i was thinking how i really need to plant a ton of lavender plants so i'm growing my own flowers for soaps...wondering now if the soap thing is going to fly as an actual way of making money, or if it is just going to be a small, random thing.
today i am grateful for:
1) the sunny days
2) that my kids are starting to read even though nobody forced them to learn on an outwardly-imposed schedule
3) eggs: perfectly formed lumps of tasty protein and nutrients...and another way to eat hot sauce!
4) my grampa phil. he's passed on, but i still feel him in my life and am grateful to have known a perfectly pure and innocent adult.
5) the ceaseless, determined beating of my heart. no matter the feel of the day, no matter my mood or demeanor--it still keeps pumping the life through me. a perfect creation.

craftworld plus

i'm making soap again--and taking orders! ahem ahem--it's been fun and exciting making the soaps and printing up the labels and fishing for orders. i love the chance to do anything creative and am especially fond of the soaps, people seem to enjoy them so very much and they are easy and satisfying to make.

i've had very little opportunity to sew, though i did make some curtains for the front windows using one of the sheets-turned-tablecloths for our wedding. it was fun, took two hours (rodney took jubal for a bike ride), and i only made a couple of mistakes. and now every time we look at the window, we get a subtle reminder of our wedding day and the love and commitment towards each other and our whole family, which makes for random and nice squidgery gut feelings. in the meantime i plot bags and baby clothes and pants and other sewn items in my head while i do other things.

i have almost completed my tomato blockprint notecard prototype and will hopefully be gocco-ing them in the next week or two, just ironing out some photocopy-induced flaws. i'm so excited i'm practically having a milk let-down in anticipation as i type this. yay!

on an unrelated note, i have recently discovered a new (to me) author: neil gaiman. i read his american gods a few months ago, and then stardust , and then anansi boys, and i'm ready to find some more and just keep on going. neil did coralina--the creepiest kids' book vesta and i have ever read, and the sandman comics, and mirrormask, and a whole lot of other stuff i cannot wait to get my hands on--children's and adult books alike. i just want to give a shout out to him, as he is totally amazing and wonderful and is the current target of my alottment of famous-people-i-don't-know lust. i want to make a t-shirt in honor of him and originally wished for "neil gaiman is an american god" wink wink, but he's actually an englishman living in america and all that doesn't carry the same ring, so....i haven't thought of one yet. but he's definately on the deserving-of-a-t-shirt list with colin meloy (of the decemberists--"everybody shrieks, everybody moans at the sight of colin meloy"), tom robbins, stephen king, gus van sant, etc etc. so if anybody needs a good read, find some neil gaiman and prepare to be enraptured.

gratitude to:
1) having a pleasant time while rodney is off work due to injury (yes, again! they should pay more for all the danger his job poses to a healthy body)
2) neil gaiman keeps a blog! yay!
3) my newest creation in the kitchen--chicken breasts smothered in red sauce on a bed of spinach and covered with mozzarella, served with a big pile of pasta and salad. so good.
4) having happy, healthy kids
5) washing machines. we really take these for granted and they are definitely one of THE top ten inventions, ever, hands down.

so, thanks!

ode to jubal

jubal is 13 months now and has started walking in short, proud, tottering bursts. if you hold your arms open to him he will smile and walk toward you, often making it to your arms for a happy hug, other times plopping to his bum to hear the applause of everyone in the room, cheering and complimenting his brave steps. they are moments of pure joy, where we are entirely present, witnessing and adoring jubal ray. i love those moments each and every time, never boring of the game of walking. he walks around the house, too. to the t.v. or the shelf for his toys, or just around. toddle, toddle and boom.
i am so grateful for his life in our family, so glad that we made him and that i birthed him--purple and mad in the bathtub after so many hours of pointless, painful pushing. i'm glad that i endured at home, past the pain and futility that i truly believed i could no longer bear...with dad so compassionately proposing that i hang on for just another half hour (hahahahaahahaaaa!!!) and re-evaluate then. we haven't ever discussed it, but i like to believe that he knew how much i wanted to give birth at home and he obviously had faith that i could do it. it was--though i good naturedly laugh at the idea that while in the midst of endless waves of pushing pains the phrase "half hour" could ever have the word "just" in front of it--it was the right thing to say and to do. frame a block of time that has a beginning and an end (even though i know that if jubal hadn't come by the end of that time block we would only have created another and another block of time until it was finally over). it helped and i am grateful for that, as well.
and our family is happier and more complete than we knew it could be with him in all of our arms. and while the blocks of time are larger now--another year and *maybe* my house will be clean again! another three years and i'll have free time for projects! etc. etc.--the moving through those blocks is so perfectly fun and miraculous and joyous, that i almost never notice them. and so 13 months went by, like *that!*, and my baby walks and talks and eats regular food and is able to communicate with us. i marvel at how miraculous AND mundane life can be, plodding through the days and the chores and feeling blazing, burning joy a hundred times a day at the sight, sound, and antics of my gorgeous and amazing children.
today i am grateful for:
1) seasons
2) that puppies grow faster than humans (almost no messes in the house anymore!)
3) joy, and how effortlessly it encompasses you
4) rodney's whack sense of humor
5) the love and adoration of my children, which is strong and unconditional and pure