i don't know how to do this anymore.
when i sit here, nothing flows and i don't know what to say.
i have things i want to talk about, but not the time or energy to go into them in depth.
things i want to talk about:
design
art
paul rand
the fact that my husband came back home
making sweet potato pies for haiti, and how weird and liberal it feels to be doing that (drinking beer for haiti!) (there's a benefit event today at the axe and fiddle to raise money, prayers, love, etc. for the haiti relief cause--which is awesome, don't get me wrong, but also weird.)
and inspired by that:
how the hell DO you help faraway people in distress?
the global world we live in that allows us to even know about earthquakes in haiti. or anywhere else.
the use of fame to forward a cause
the use of art to forward a cause
also:
photography
digital design tools (read: the adobe creative suite)
the fact that my dad wrote a novel and my process of trying to design it
the fact that i lost 55 pounds and what that's like (i just this morning discovered buried jeans in my dresser. i haven't worn JEANS in years. they fit.)
what it's like to allow my husband to come back and how our lives are vastly different than the way they were, while still mind-blowingly familiar and strangely wonderful
and inspired by that:
how the hell do you navigate the re-marriage process--where to do it, who to witness, same date or new date, do you throw a party, etc.?
the fear of the prospect of re-marrying someone who betrayed the family and caused us all so much heartache and pain
the value of having gratitude for all of one's experiences, learning from them, and letting go of the attached pain and resentment because it doesn't serve you
and:
music
the meat purveyors, the decemberists' "hazards of love" album, buying digital files and the resulting loss of disc art and liner notes, the new mix tape
cooking and compromise
how junky can something convenient be before i won't feed it to my kids, the fact that i now eat "fast food" on a semi-regular basis and how weird and shameful that is, missing the slow food movement in my house
love
spring cleaning
sewing
creation
books and how i miss them
to name just a few.
so, now i have a list and maybe i'll consult it and the flow will return.
and a quick life update: rodney came home at the beginning of the year. we let him. it's going well. the garden has miraculously been started (peas and radishes). school is awesome and hard; i'm an A student with a GPA of 3.95; i recently got an A on the first official essay i've ever written (yes, ever!); i'm studying digital design (in-design, photoshop, illustrator), typography, the history of graphic design, and writing (composition and argument type stuff). i've returned to the gym, usually going with rodney, something we enjoy doing together. i'm sore. i still haven't painted the house, but i swear i'm going to this summer! i am in love with my life.
comments are welcome if anyone read one of those topics and wants it to be first.
i am grateful for:
my oven
butter
peace
my family
recovery
mechanical pencils
erasers
tracing paper
good teachers
love
beer
money
my muscles, organs, tendons, skin, and bones
Posts
