shifting stuff in your brain

me feeling lighter already after meeting my counselor
Originally uploaded by hedgenettle

i met with my very own counselor for the first time this morning. we talked about my situation, of course, and what i want to get out of counseling...and he told me about some interesting work he's been doing with "re-bonding" parent/child couples (in this case where the child is still a child and the lack of proper bond is causing health problems)...and that he's trying to figure out how to do the same with adult children...who maybe aren't going to go through the process with their parents, but could still benefit from letting go of the memories that were hard or horrible or whatever, that are still stored in the primitive brain (the medulla oblongata, i believe) and so are still charged with all this emotional *stuff*...and, i inferred, affecting our decision-making processes (and health)...anyone who knows me knows i had a really messed up childhood, despite how awesome my dad is...so there's a lot of stuff. and i know exactly what it did to me (made me starved for love and loving attention). so, i won't go into all the complexities of the therapy just yet, but the point of it is to shift those emotionally charged memories from the primal brain to the cerebrum, where we can still have the memories, but they aren't loaded with all that useless emotional charge. the ultimate goal being that i could become more like someone who had a good, healthy childhood and make decisions based on that, rather than from that place of being so hungry to be loved and perceived as worthy...i tend to ignore a few key red flags when making decisions from that place.
of course i went to the session with some of that in mind...knowing what my issues are, but having no idea how to deal with them or that he would recommend this specific, interesting, seemingly quite effective method of therapy (having found therapists/counselors mostly useless before)...and he basically said...this process (of moving the memories, and thereby discharging all that emotional energy) will not only help me feel and be happier and healthier, but also more attractive to THE KIND OF MEN I ACTUALLY WANT TO BE ATTRACTED TO ME! because, of course, healthy people want to be with healthy people, not sick or hurt people who make messed up choices. yeah, that's what i want. the thought is exciting.

so i feel good.

i am grateful for:
my counselor
my garden
my son
my girls
my mom