time flies away as i panic

it's the endless problem of time. i feel completely elated by all the amazing stuff i want to do (you would not believe the number of awesome bag, notepad, notebook, etc. ideas i have moshing in my brain every night!) and i don't even have time to adequately sweep the floor every day! i fantasize daily about sending my family away for a month. 30 days of time! i would only have to do what i wanted and my house would be clean! i would spend the first three days super-cleaning the house and FINALLY organizing the office for maximum efficiency. i would spend the rest working. cutting, sewing, gluing, assembling, knitting (in the evenings...i'm dying to try knitting play food)...i would dedicate the mornings to a quick clean-up...dishes, sweep, laundry, etc. i imagine this would take and hour or less if it was just me and i didn't have to stop to nurse the baby. or feed the baby. or help the girls with some project. or make lunch for four. etc. i would cook awesome dinners a couple of times a week, the rest would be left-overs and egg/toast/salad type affairs. my brain would blaze with creative energy, blessing me with some kind of adrenaline rush that would prevent me missing my family at all. i would make multiple trips to the print shop and master photoshop and have a work station on every available surface. i would be a bottlecap magnet machine. my fingers would be stained with ink and my floor littered with thread (til that morning clean up!) the supplies i need would always be available, never sold out and especially never on back-order...i'd build a giant, amazingly stylish and effective inventory, which i would photograph perfectly, post diligently and sell like hotcakes!

i would like to say more, but i am out of time. for the record, though, i do want them to come back after 30 days...maybe 30 days on, 30 days off? so rad!...

i'm grateful for:
1) quick, but delicious meals
2) my breath
3) my washing machine
4) my garden fences (which will allow me to utilize my clothesline this summer!)
5) that the kids can babysit jubal while i nap

summer school

so, we revised our proposal for a charter renewal to the board, they said no no no no, again...and the next step is appealing to ODE, then back to the board (if ODE is in our favor), then the board says no no no no again (most likely) then, maybe we go to court...if there's enough money and energy. in the meantime the school will still open and be funded through all the appeals and courts and whatnot. so much for relaxing, eh?

it occurred to me this morning as i ate my smoothie that a group of us may have to rally together and create a new school to propose to the board. some not-exactly-democratic amalgam of academics and freedom. that's what you do when you need something and it's not available, right? you create it. it's an option.

i've been thinking and wondering and working the grain mills of my brain to figure out what to do with the kids if we don't manage to save the school. i don't mind homeschooling, but i was looking forward to them having somewhere to be for the next three years so i can go back to school myself next year. i could sacrifice that desire, but rodney recommends that i don't...it's a chance for me to do what i love and to make a career out of it--a chance for us all to actually HAVE SOME MONEY SOMETIME!!!

so it's all up in the air, and it's all exhausting, and it's all a bit unsatisfying at the moment.