last night was the yearbook party for blue mountain and i want to curl up and cry all day from it. lesley and elise are moving on to other jobs, other lives. the dickson's are moving to california. a bunch of the bms kids are moving on to other schools, where they can be assured the schools will be open for them. i am full of sadness and anger and the bitter will to keep fighting the injustice of the south lane school board. the hearing's in a couple of weeks, the application will be filed this weekend, lots of ideas for ways to appease the board are afoot...i'll be writing my letter to the board today.
and just in time to help boost my energy for the cause...i have an answer to my unwilling lethargy and metabolism that will not budge no matter what i do. hypo-thyroidism. woohoo. i'm now on the potentially long road of figuring out how to balance everything correctly. the solution? pig hormones. from pig thyroids. weird, eh? the company that makes them is called Armour...you know, like the giant meat company. freaky. i try to console myself with the idea that at least every bit of those pigs is going to use, no matter how much i disagree with industrialized meat production, blah blah, blah. the thought of having to take a pill every day for the rest of my life is super depressing, but i don't think i can really get around it. i didn't do anything to ruin my thyroid, it just happened. but it sucks to have part of your body not work right. it just feels sad and disappointing and weird and frustrating. i haven't come across a definitive reason for why the thyroid malfunctions--but, not surprisingly, one of the posited theories involves CHEMICALS IN OUR FOOD AND DRINKING WATER!!! shocking, ahem. so thanks industrial farmers, industrial age, monsanto, idiots everywhere that produce plastic and pollute the earth and the seas and the skies. a hearty thank you from my fucked up body! ironic that the solution comes from industrial food production, isn't it. it's a vicious circle like those GMO patented seeds. but i won't keep ranting on. i'm feeling bitter and depressed and like this really sucks.
but i would be remiss if i didn't also say that i am hopeful and excited at the prospect of feeling better. rain energy upon me, o pig hormones. fill me up with your frolicking, mud-loving, intelligent spirit. give me the energy and i'll use it to my best abilities and make you proud, pigs.
i'm grateful for:
1) the people involved in blue mountain who are continuing to try and find solutions.
2) the people involved in blue mountain who have to move on now, but who are beautiful, kind, generous, witty, amazing people who changed my children's lives and gave them gifts beyond measure with which to build the framework of their own realities.
3) pigs and their apparently humanistic hormones.
4) my garden which feeds me, relaxes me, inspires me, and fulfills me.
5) the spirit of good which will not die.
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an excerpt from a work-in-progress
they ate breakfast together: an omlettle he made filled with spinach and cream cheese and tomatoes and a bagel they split with salmon and more of the cream cheese and some capers she went back to the fridge for. they amused themselves discussing what capers are and how they came to be in jars at upscale markets for them to buy and eat on bagels with salmon. he liked to think they came from the sea somehow, and she assured him they were really little berries of some sort of fragrant bush. she fished the capers out of the tall jar as they talked and ate more than usual, something about their brininess described a hunger for her that she didn’t know she had, and then filled it. they drank steaming mugs of rich coffee with cream (and two sugars in his). she loaded the dishwasher and wiped off the counter while he cleaned the coffeegrounds and little spills from the coffee pot. the sun shone cleanly into their white kitchen and onto their bodies as they moved about their tasks and then they kissed one another and left for work, him to an office in town and her upstairs to her office where she worked as a freelance ad designer. it was a perfect morning. it was the perfect morning.
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2 comments:
I have a friend that has hypo-thyroidism. She's known that she's had it for about 20 years. Have you considered a dairy and meat free diet??
hey melissa...
thanks for the suggestion, but my naturopath has recommended that i follow the blood type diet--i'm "o", so that involves a lot of meat and no dairy. i think it's important that the meat be local and pastured, as i suspect that all the hormones and etc. in industrialized meat is probably one of the causes of this crap. veganism has never suited my body, i thrive on animal protein. has it been helpful for your friend?
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