everything's blowing up

this is the time of year when the garden really blows up. i've pretty much lost all control and the thistles will be where they may...the cauliflower is growing up into the tomato cage, the borage has sprawled everywhere, baby thyme plants have sprung up all over the north herb garden (maybe next year i'll have some sizable plants to give someone!), the scarlet runners have far surpassed the height of their string trellis, and more. i surrender to that and merely harvest and water. if i happen to see a weed, i might pull it. it's working fine, we haven't had to buy any veggies for a month or so, except zukes and cukes--the cukes i forgot to plant and the zukes aren't ready yet (lots of blooms, though). oh, and carrots, which i succeeded in not growing effectively AGAIN this year. they all went to flower without making carrots first...pull them up and you get this tiny white rootlet topped by a giant flower. ah, well. the only other thing that flopped was the potatoes. we got two meals out of the 18 plants! they were yummy, though. i planted them without properly preparing the bed, so i'm not hugely surprised, though i was sort of hoping for a pass on that this year.

other things are blowing up, too, but not in such a good way...
hazel is an unpredictable emotional wreck this week. she misses layla so badly. she just aches with it. layla was her best friend at school, her main playmate, and just a special girl. hazel is stressed out about how school is going to be without layla there. she believes no one else likes her and she'll have no one to play with. she's bitterly upset about elise and lesley leaving the school. she said her three best things at school were layla, elise and lesley, and now they're all gone. wail wail. i asked her if she thought she'd like to try going to a different school (thinking there'd be a wider base of kids to choose from than blue mountains current enrollment) and she said only if it was a school with people like layla at it! it was another rough night.

jubals's mouth is blowing up. he went from having 6 teeth to having 10 teeth in like a week. and those 4 extras are molars. he's fine all day, but he's a wreck at night. in pain and frustrated and bewildered. it's sad and it's loud and it hurts my heart.

and now that rodney is able bodied enough to work full time on a real crew--there's no work! he had to file for unemployment and we have to figure out what to do. maybe it's just slow right now while the crews wrap up the jobs they're on and it'll go back to normal with new jobs...or maybe the economy is so fecking bad that there won't BE new jobs and we'll be extra screwed. i've considered trying to get hired on for a night shift at the mcDonald's that's a couple of blocks from our house. i know it sounds crazy that i would work there, but it's a mindless, easy job that's close to my house and one of the only places around here that is open at night. of course, i have the energy level of a hot bag of sand, so i have no idea how i'd mother and chore-do all day and then work a shift at a job, but...god, i really hope i don't have to do that.

the pigpills seem to be working a little better with the increased dose. i don't feel !GREAT! and !FULL OF ENERGY! like i hoped i would, but i don't feel quite so exhausted. maybe one more grain will do the trick. the gluten-freeness sucks ass and even if it lowers my antibodies, i doubt seriously that i could do it for my whole life. it's hard and everything costs more and there is no quick lunch--obviously if i planned things out better, there could be, but no on the fly sandwiches these days. i'm learning to keep a pot of rice in the fridge so i can fry it up for lunch.

no news on the blue mountain front. or any other fronts that i can think of.

i'm grateful for:

my sweet, sweet kids
my youth
my home
perseverance
love