christmas bonus!

on a whim i sent my dad a link to a veeeery nice sewing machine i dream of for my bag embellishing and other projects and he ordered it for me!!! i'm so excited i'm practically having a milk let-down (such an ironic phrase). whatever extra money falls into my lap this month is going toward blank bag purchasing and screen-printing ink and supplies. i honestly cannot express the level of excitement i am feeling that the start of my business looms so close. it's this reverberating phrase/feeling "i'm gonna do it! i'm gonna do it! i can actually DO IT!!!"

jubal is crawling around the office with a yellow marker clutched in his hand, talking and squealing. i feel like crying for joy at the thought of being here for him for his fragile and fleeting youth. when i was pregnant rodney asked how long i would want to stay home and i said at least two years, but i really want to be here until he is ready to start at blue mountain. if i have to go back to work before then it would be a major compromise, one that i will do anything i can to avoid.

i've had ideas and projects in the past that didn't work out, either circumstances just didn't line up like they needed to or i didn't stick with them long enough and work hard enough (both). this feels totally different. i feel so honored and grateful to have this opportunity that i have created for myself and that others have supported me in. i feel excited at the thought of working hard, carving out time, failing and learning from it. i can SEE it. i can see cubby holes filled with cards i designed and crates of shopping bags i painted and printed and sewed on. i have not been this confident about myself and my abilities and passions since i was fifteen! it is so beautiful and--how many times can i use this word?--exciting!

thank you to dad and beckie for believing in me and helping, thanks to rodney for trusting me and being willing to dedicate some of our minimal funds to this project. thanks to the whole exciting, amazing world.