making comfort and peace

on the other side is my super-old recipe for pancakes, that sort of explains at least some of the grime. maybe. or i'm just gross.

last night i made comfort food. i've been craving cheese and onion scones like mad for days, so i decided to make them biscuit-style...with mashed potatoes and gravy, meatloaf, and steamed veg. i used my most-favored biscuit recipe, which i'm sharing a picture of because it's still on this grimy index card from way, waaaay back in the day. back when i was just this side of a hippie, living in a 120 square foot yurt with lorin and baby vesta, hauling my own water and making everything from scratch, probably from something we grew ourselves in long, long rows of green, amazing food. i keep thinking i really need to re-do my recipe cards--somewhere back in my brain i'm hatching a plan to put them all into a book using pen-and-ink and inDesign--but i just can't let go of my recipe card, because it reminds me of the old days, when time was slow and all my skin was brown from living and working in the sun all day. no schedules, and the demands on me were those necessitated by the seasons, the land, and my growing baby. ah, to be young and idealistic and off the grid...the biscuits were so good that there weren't any left for me to take for lunch. so i will have to make them again soon. and hide them.

i also made this kickass gravy with beef stock and beer, which had a super delicious, rustic flavor. i was going for a bit of the feel of morning glory cafe's old biscuits and gravy taste.

today i asked vesta to teach me how to make an origami crane. i was feeling exhausted from being sick and from just having so much to do lately. such a schedule and so many demands. no wonder i yearn for even the grimiest reminder of a slower time...anyways, i thought well, i want to make something, and i knew vesta has been teaching art class at her school once a week or so for the last 2 or 3 weeks and i wanted to see how she was at it, and give her some practice for the art class tomorrow, if she wanted it. plus just getting to spend a few minutes with her, uninterrupted. she was pretty good, i must say, and i managed to make this crane. not bad. is it 1,000 or 10,000 for peace? i can't remember. at my house it's just two. mine and hers.

she is so not a baby anymore.

i am grateful for:

paper

beer

sleep

my awesome instructors

weekends

happy birthday, eldest child

vesta is eleven today! she is a wonderful child, mostly effortless to raise and a pleasure to know and love. she was born at home after a full twenty four hours of labor. present at her birth were: lorin and myself, dad, jan, dawn, clarebeth the midwife and her wonderful assistant kimberly stonebreaker. there was much walking on the day leading up to her birth and it was a beautiful april day...it had been a warm and early spring, so many flowers were in bloom and i especially remember the lilacs. i am surprised every year when i go out in the world to find myself some lilac blooms for her birthday bouquet to find that they often are not out yet. after the many, many painful and somewhat frightening hours of labor it suddenly (or so it seemed) was time to push! 30 minutes of pushing later and she emerged into the world, pure and innocent--all the pain and effort of her birth instantly forgotten and forgiven. she was perfect and wonderful. she still is.

we spent the morning baking pound cake for her birthday dinner tonight (my easy and kind daughter chose "awesome sandwiches" for her birthday meal!)...vesta, hazel, jubal and i all working together to mix and blend and pour and bake. it was lovely and fun.

vesta is: a talented artist, surprisingly funny, generous, kind, patient, helpful, amusing, free-spirited, too hard on herself, beautiful, sweet, loving, smart, a pleasure.

happy birthday, vesta bean! i love you.

i am grateful for: vesta, vesta, vesta, vesta, vesta.